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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29930406">Harry's Absolution</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovetoreadseverusdotcom/pseuds/Lovetoreadseverusdotcom'>Lovetoreadseverusdotcom</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:14:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,882</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29930406</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovetoreadseverusdotcom/pseuds/Lovetoreadseverusdotcom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This story is AU, Snarry and major character death. Severus and Harry are married but there was a fight and Severus sent Harry away. This takes place months after that. Cross Posted.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Potter/Severus Snape</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Harry's Absolution</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>AN: Hey guys, I know some of you are waiting for updates on my other two stories, and I promise they’re coming. But recently I’ve had a tough go of things. We had a death in the family and some shocking and hurtful news came out about a month later. Needless to say I’ve been a wreck for the last few months. I’m pulling it together though and this story helped me a little bit. <br/>     I’ve been plotting my chapters for Third and for Matters so I promise you’ll have new stuff, maybe more than one chapter! I hope so.  <br/>    I hope everyone is staying safe. I’m still working my 40 hours cause I work at an essential job— woohoo! But still this whole thing is stressful for everyone. Stay safe and be aware of your surroundings! <br/>     Please review this piece, it means a lot to me for some crazy reason. Let me know what you think. Thanks!</p><p>This story is AU, Snarry and major character death. Severus and Harry are married but there was a fight and Severus sent Harry away. This takes place months after that. </p><p>Harry’s Absolution</p><p>Harry was exhausted. He’d just given birth to the most beautiful baby girl he’d ever seen. He couldn’t wait to tell Severus. They were parents! </p><p>No matter what his husband tried to tell him, this child was proof that he had lied.  Severus loved him and he couldn’t wait to go to him and raise their baby girl together. Harry smiled and shook his head from side to side, “your father was just scared.” He whispered to the sleeping child. “He didn’t mean to send us away. All those things he said, he just said out of fear. Silly man.” He reached out and adjusted the blanket. “He’s going to love you so much.”</p><p>Harry sighed and thought about the past few months. They were so hard on his body and he honestly didn’t think he’d get to the end. He would have loved for Severus to be here, but he couldn’t get out of bed. The doctor told him no stress and confined him to bed rest for the duration of the pregnancy. </p><p>Once he was confined, he found his body didn’t want to cooperate. He was constantly losing energy and found himself sleeping more than he was awake. The doctor assured him that most pregnancies were difficult and not one was the same. Some men had no problems, while others had a myriad of issues. Harry was the latter. You name it, he went through it, but he promised himself when this was over he was going home. He needed Severus. He wanted his husband. </p><p> </p><p>Now looking at his baby, he could almost forget the pain and suffering he went through. She was so tiny with her little fluff of hair on the top of her head. Her mouth moved, wanting her fingers that finally made it to their destination.  He reached out and touched her face then her fingers... her father's fingers. He couldn’t get enough of her. </p><p>“Harry, you need to rest. Stop staring at her and sleep while you can!” Andromeda chided lovingly. “She’s not going anywhere, I promise.” She tucked him in, smiled, and kissed his forehead. </p><p>“Thanks, Andy,” he said tiredly. “I am tired. So very tired...” He trailed off. </p><p>Harry woke with a start and looked around the room. He didn’t have much time. Sliding out of the bed he knelt by the bassinet and stared at his little girl. He summoned his wand and touched it to his heart. After a few seconds it glowed gold and he moved the wand over the child, the golden aura going with it. He flourished his wand around the child and mumbled something at the same time. The aura engulfed the whole baby and pulsed twice before fading. Satisfied, Harry rose and stumbled back to bed and under the covers. </p><p>The next morning Andy entered Harry’s room to find the baby screaming and Harry dead. </p><p> </p><p>XxxX</p><p>Years later…</p><p>Severus knew death was close. Truth be told he was ready to leave this wretched life. After sending the only person he really loved away he was ready to go. </p><p>He lay there, his body slightly trembling of its own free will, his breathing shallow but his mind remembering his failures. His failures, which are endless and his accomplishments, which he could count on one hand.</p><p> A lone tear travelled down the side of his face disappearing into his pillow. “Harry,” he whispered. His voice almost nonexistent, his throat dry from misuse. Licking his chapped lips he swallowed and tried again. “Harry, where’s my Harry…” </p><p>His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the door open. </p><p>The girl that entered had to be in her early twenties. She was tall and thin but elegantly dressed. She walked in with confidence and stood at the foot of his bed. He was glued to her face, her eyes mostly. Her expressive, big green eyes allowed him to see what he knew to be true. himself. “Harry..” he choked out. </p><p>“Hello, are you Severus Snape?” She asked, with her voice soothing to his soul. He nodded but didn’t offer any words. He just stared, looking from eye to eye and all around her face. A sinking feeling settled in his stomach as he realized he was definitely looking at his own flesh and blood. His and Harry’s child.</p><p>“Oh God,” he whispered. She looked so much like him and Harry. He would have spotted her instantly if he had stayed in London. </p><p>She just stood there, taking in the situation. She didn’t show pity and he was grateful for that but she did look as if she had something to say.</p><p>“Where’s Harry?” The staff here at St. Bernadette’s are used to him calling for Harry. Him asking for his husband's whereabouts at every turn and they always humored him, he knew that, but this is the first time he’s felt hopeful of a positive answer. He didn’t even care that his voice was raspy and he looked like shite, at this moment he knew she knew where his love was. </p><p>“I’m sorry, my daddy died in childbirth.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>She nodded. </p><p>“Harry’s dead?” He closed his eyes to stop the tears and took several shallow breaths to calm himself. </p><p>“He’s been dead this whole time?” The water in his eyes grew and he could no longer see and he began to hyperventilate. </p><p>“My… my  Harry is gone. He will never know....” he stuttered. He blinked several times to focus his eyes on the girl and allowed the fresh tears to fall down his already tear stained skin. He sobbed; the anguish was too hard to swallow. </p><p>She walked over to the side of the bed and nodded. Her long flowing hair moved beautifully with her movements. Her eyes, though glassy, never left Severus’ face. She was studying him, memorizing every line, every curve of his face. She paused on his eyes and smiled sweetly. Those scared and hopeful eyes studying her in return lit up with glee at her smile. </p><p>“Why now? Why have you come to see me now?” He whispered. “To torture me? The daughter I never knew…” a sob escaped him. His grief over losing Harry a second time was so overwhelming. His body shaking more with the added distress. Harry will never know how he searched for him, how he regretted all the mean things he said to him. The man he loved will never know how much he was missed and thought of over the years. He will never know. </p><p>At this thought, Severus turned his head and cried out his sorrow, his painful grief. He brought a hand to his face but never touched it, it hovered there while he let out the most primal and sorrowful moan.  It was deep with pain and anguish. He took several deep breaths, trying desperately to get his emotions under control, to get his body to calm down but failing. He forgot he had company until he heard the shuffle of her robes. </p><p>“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” she said softly. Her pain mirrored his, tears forming in her crystal green eyes. “I… just had to come. Why did you never contact me?” She said softly. </p><p>He turned to face her. “I didn’t know you existed. Had I known I would have been there, I would have raised you myself and loved you so much. So much… “ he paused to swallow and take a few short breaths. “You were the product of our love. You were the proof that our love was eternal and soulful. How could I not want that? Where have you been all this time?” The last question is barely audible. </p><p>She wiped her face, “I was born in the States. Gran took my dad there to escape Britain and he found out he was pregnant only after arriving there. I grew up learning about both of you from Gran, but I never knew where you were. No one knows what happened to my dad except Gran and she took that to the grave with her. She died a couple years ago.”</p><p>“Then how did you find me? I’m not even listed here under my true name. How did you know who I am?”</p><p>“I really don’t understand it myself. I just got this feeling and it wouldn’t go away, and I knew it had to do with you. Eventually, I just followed my instincts and it led me here. Right to your room door actually.” She shuffled a little closer to the bed, wanting to touch him but she hesitated. “I think I know why I’m here. I think in my heart I always knew I’d see you before you left me.” She whispered. </p><p>Severus was staring at her, studying her face and mannerisms. She has Harry’s eyes and nose but his chin and cheekbones. The mouth could be either but Severus wanted to believe that was his too. She was his own flesh and blood and he’s never going to be able to teach her potions, or what’s right and wrong, or scare the boys that would come calling because they would...she’s so beautiful. He’ll never have heated conversations with her over who’s right or show her how to hold her wand for the first time or even walk her down the aisle. He was studying her intently trying to ingrain her whole existence into his brain in the few short minutes they had together. </p><p>How could Harry not tell him he was with child? Because you never gave him the chance to speak before you threw him out. He reminded himself and the guilt was back tenfold. </p><p>She saw where his thoughts were turning and reached out. “May I?” She asked him, never breaking eye contact with those expressive black orbs, so unlike what she’d been told about her father. Her hands hovered over his frail hand as she studied his face intently, cataloging his features. His eyes moving from one eye to the next. She could tell he was doing the same. He looked so frail but she knew from stories that he was anything but. </p><p>Severus could only nod. His voice long gone due to all the emotions lodged in his throat. He felt nervous, excited and scared all at once. This felt otherworldly and he wanted to savor this moment for eternity. </p><p>She lightly folded her hands around his and closed her eyes. Something was happening. In her chest there began a soft golden glow. It moved to encompass her whole body, traveling down both her arms to their connected hands. </p><p>Severus watched in awe as the golden glow flowed from his child to him. When it touched his wrinkly skin, he gasped.  Immediately, he felt at peace. He could smell Harry surrounding him. He felt so much love and it was beautiful. It made him smile, made him giggle. With glassy eyes, he looked up to his girl and saw her smiling too. She was a perfect picture; softly glowing, head bent, eyes closed but he could see tears forming under her lashes, just like Harry’s. </p><p>“Harry,” he breathed. “I can feel him. His love, his...forgiveness.” He choked out and by now they were both crying tears. “How are you doing that?”</p><p>“I don’t know.” She whispered back, “This just felt like the right thing to do.” She looked into his eyes and knew she was right. “Oh father, I’m so happy I found you.” She said as she lightly squeezed his hand. He tried to squeeze her hand back with what little energy he had but he didn’t think his fingers moved. She squeezed again as a confirmation. She had heard him and he smiled. </p><p>“Can I stay for awhile?” </p><p>“As if I’d let you leave me so soon.” </p><p>She summoned a chair and sat next to him, never letting go of him. Her hair fell on their clasped hands and Severus smiled at her. She had his hair too. </p><p>“What did you feel?” He asked her, closing his eyes and relaxing into the bed. His breathing was becoming more shallow and labored. He felt the end coming and wished he could live just a little longer for her… and him. </p><p>“Love. I felt so much love for me and for you. I felt warmth fill my heart with the love of family...of belonging.  My Gran always told me that what you two had was special… unique, but I never realized how intense it was. All my life I wondered why he was alone and had me alone and died alone, but after today, I have no more questions. I felt a lifetime of hugs and kisses and I will never forget that.” She squeezed his hand again. “We have dad to thank for that.” She said with a smile. Her cheeks rosy and tear streaked. She let them fall, so happy to finally have closure. </p><p>“Yes. Harry…” he coughed but tried to stay focused on his little girl. “I loved him so much it scared me. I’d never felt that before and I didn’t realize what it was until months after he was gone. I searched everywhere for him but no one knew where he was. I have to admit I never thought of Andromeda Tonks.”</p><p>“Did you feel the same thing?” She tucked her hair behind an ear and Severus could see an earring hanging from her ear. A gold and onyx teardrop, the same teardrop he gave Harry on their wedding day. Only then it was a cuff link. </p><p>“It felt like Harry was in the room with me. Laughing with me, touching me, loving me. I could smell his scent, taste him, and hear his words. ‘I forgive you, you bloody git.’” Severus coughed and struggled to inhale, but his lungs were too full of mucus and breathing was difficult. His energy was leaving him. He took the time to settle his mind since his body was doing what it wanted and not responding to him anymore. After a few minutes he looked at his daughter, “What I felt was the most overwhelming feeling of love and understanding. He forgave me. He forgave me with all my insecurities and failings and showered me with unconditional love.” They shared a smile before Severus felt the need to close his eyes. </p><p>Harry will be waiting for him and he can’t wait to see him again!</p><p>“I feel so…  much lighter now because of you. You’re my… Angel. Thank… you.” He managed to get out. It was becoming harder to breathe and he was so tired. His body tremors increased causing his hair to get stuck on his face. </p><p>“I can die…  in peace now knowing my love…  is waiting for me. I can’t tell you what this means to me.” He said quietly as he slowly closed his eyes. They sat there quietly for a long time. Him - breathing erratically making small whimper sounds and her - watching him, giving him the support of a loved one while he takes his last breaths. </p><p>Sensing the end closing in, Severus opened his eyes wide and stared straight ahead. He felt her more than saw her get up from the chair and move closer to the bed. He turned to her, “I feel so much love for you...want you to know...my Angel...feel so much…”</p><p>“...”</p><p>Severus closed his eyes; a small smile on his face. His grip on his daughter loosened and she carefully moved his hand to lay on his stomach. She leaned over his face, moved his hair to the side and kissed his cheek. </p><p>“...Harry, is that you, Love?” </p><p>“Be at peace father.”</p><p> </p><p>XxxX</p><p>I purposely left the fight out. This story is really about the forgiveness Harry gifts Severus. Something I’m finding myself having a hard time with and I needed to write to help me organize my thoughts. <br/>    It’s funny, I always thought forgiving someone to be easy; an act of selflessness and a means to judge myself mentally, but lately I’m finding that it’s not so easy to just forgive someone. </p><p>Please review!!</p><p>-lovetoreadseverusdotcom</p>
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